Monday, May 21

Welcome To The Black Parade

A certain My Chemical Romance song we ain't, but...

Whenever I come across any his & hers crap (e.g., matching outfits, matching accessories, matching tastes, matching whatever), I would roll my eyes at my husband and bitch, "Wah lau aye, sibeh lame leh. Think what? Siamese twins izzit? Knn." And here we are now, a joint force to be reckoned with. Collaborating on a couple blog, no less!

As if seeing, breathing and farting each other 24 hours offline ain't enough, we're going to be seeing, breathing and farting each other online as well. God bless everyone (even though Yan Dao's uncertain there is one and I know there isn't one).

Seeing as how this entry is written in precise Queen's Engrish hor, you can more or less tell who's posting this lor. Clue: Definitely not the male half of the couple.

Let's see now...the only language my smerri babi hubby is remotely proficient at is Neanderspeak (language of the neanderthals aka cavemen aka pre-homo sapiens aka "Me Tarzan, You Jane!"). For those unfamiliar with our communication style, it's all very deprecating and sarcastic. E.g....

Yan Dao to me: "You're such a pig! or...

Me to Yan Dao: "I hate you. Eat shit and die!"
Yan Dao back to me: "After you."

Awww, soo much love you can positively feel it leaping off the page hor? Hahaaa.

Oddly enough, I appreciate my babi's abuse more than the lameasses who spout lines a la baad Bryan Adams lyrics...

Look into my eyes, you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart, search your soul
And when you find me there, you'll search no more
Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do, I do it for you
Look into your heart, you will find
There's nothin' there to hide
Take me as I am, take my life
I would give it all, I would sacrifice
Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for
I can't help it, there's nothin' I want more
You know it's true
Everything I do, I do it for you
There's no love, like your love
And no other, could give more love
There's nowhere, unless you're there
All the time, all the way
Oh, you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it, there's nothin' I want more
I would fight for you, I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you, ya I'd die for you
You know it's true
Everything I do, I do it for you

Hmm. Yeah. Right. Sure. Bolded are the lines that make me gag on my favorite balls. No, not those balls, ya pervs! I mean No. 7, Tiong Bahru Market's big succulent fishballs. Get your head out of the gutter and give your brain a good swirl with Dettol, will ya?

I knew I love you before I met you? Puhleaze lor. What's love if it can be professed and proven with mere words. A parody, that's what.

Nothing wilts my love faster than decay-inducing, sugar-coated, tacky-plastic sweeet words. Who cares for flowers and diamonds and airy-fairy fluff when I can have the real deal? That's why I wouldn't trade my babi's caveman wit for anything in the world. In fact, bring it on.